31 December 2025
Worth noting that the last couple of days in the studio have been a slog. Felt strained, way too attached to particular outcomes to drop into any good painting flow. But I took today to fill the well and I think it was the medicine I needed. Tightening the grip, (a stubborn approach to discipline, trying to force my way into noticing/documenting/research), never results in good work or affords me deep focus. So I spent the day in the city exercising, walking, watching, listening, and then went home to cook. Revisited Jesse's 2022 interview with Daniel Arnold for his Apology podcast and Daniel mentioned how his ideal state for creating is to “function as a ghost,” that it's important for him that his work comes from a place where it is incidental/unconscious. Was nice to hear him explain how he has trained the muscle of trust in his non-analytical brain over time, hadn't really heard it put that exact way before. I think that's a crucial point, that switching between the survivalist, concrete idea oriented, logical, decision-making brain and the unthinking, flowing, relaxed, unknown-embracing creative brain is a skill in itself.