1 October 2026
Have been floating around New York City with my luggage in tow as a I figure out what to do next. My bags are heavy and the subway is small. After a recent ride, I was exiting the station and hoisted one of my big duffels high as I went through the turnstile gate. A man rushed over as if to help me, but he kind of just got in the way and then backpedaled as I passed through. Then he yelled: “I helped you out and you're not going to swipe me in?”
In that moment I realized a fundamental difference in the American psyche compared to more collectivist countries like Korea, where I just was. Which is that Americans grow up in a society that teaches them to expect to be thanked or rewarded for helping someone else. It's in the fibers. Now remembering when I hung out with a Chinese friend when I first got to London and thanked her for spending time with me. She asked me why I would thank her for that.